A SMALL OUTBURST
by edwartforever
Summary: It takes place during spirit bound. But this time Rose will not accept so easily the rejection from Dimitri. She will burst her anger outside the church, she will almost lose her mind and as a result she will leave from the court. And then what will Dimitri do? Will he search for her or she didn't mean anything to him after all ? And Rose where will she go and what she will do?
1. Chapter 1

**ROSE AND DIMITRI**

**This story takes place during spirit bound. It starts the moment when Rose Hathaway's world turns upside down, when Dimitri tells her that he doesn't love her anymore, but this time the story will continue otherwise. What if Rose couldn't accept that fact and she would make a huge scene outside the church?**

**Disclaimer; I do not own vampire academy. Richelle Mead is the lucky one.**

A small outburst (If we can say it small)

"I have given up on you", he said back, voice also soft. "Love fades, Mine has."

I stared at him in disbelief. All this time, he'd never phrased it like that. His protests had always been about some greater good, about the remorse he felt over being or how it had scarred him from the love.

_I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has. _But mine hasn't . Never will.

"But…but Dimitri, how…how can you tell that. I thought that… I can't…" I backed up, the sting of those words hitting me as hard as if he'd slapped me. Something shifted in his features, like he knew how much he'd hurt me. I didn't stick around to see. Instead, I pushed my way out of the aisle and ran out the doors in the back, afraid that if I stayed any longer, everyone in the church would see me cry.

And yet again the awful running lessons with Dim- _him_, unfortunately had been useful. I couldn't speak his name and neither could I think of him. As fast as I could manage,I left the church so that I wouldn't risk making a scene out of it all. The only thing I would accomplish by doing that would be to make everyone in there believe that he was still a strigoi and I did not want that. I wanted him to be happy because I love him and he… didn't. Great!

I ran into the forest. I wanted to burst my anger, to let out all the tears instead of holding them inside like I always did. And that was exactly what I did. I imagined that one of the trees was the blond strigoi who bited Dimitri and I punched and kicked it with all the strength I had. At the same time I was swearing over the whole damn situation.

After a while I finally stopped, realizing that I was doing more damage to myself then to the tree right now. I couldn't sit still but had to get out the rage and pain inside me so instead of punishing the poor tree I started kicking the ground and throwing rocks instead. If anyone saw me right now, they'd think I was insane. Maybe I was. For a Russian god.

"What the hell'' I said when someone touched my arm.

"Calm down Rose, it's me, Lissa.'' Lissa said gently. I didn't want her here. I didn't want anyone here. Except for, of course, one person. But that person under different circumstances, which right now weren't possibly to be, if you take in mind what he told me before ten minutes ago.

''Rose what's wrong? Why did you leave like that from the church and what are you doing out here?" When she finished her small lecture I turned around to look at her, but obviously she didn't expect to see me like this: full of anger and …tears.

''Rose, why are you crying , what happened?'' She asked, even more gently than before. If that was even possible. Through the bond I felt that she was worried about me and I wanted to comfort her and tell her that everything was fine but I could not hold my anger. Not anymore. Not at that moment. Not when he had just told me that…

"What's wrong? What's wrong! Are you really asking me what's wrong? _You _of all people, Lissa, my best friend, you're asking me what's wrong?" I yelled out loud barely without a pause. I had to take a deep breath to not do something harsh that I was going to regret later on.

"I trusted you, you know. I thought that maybe at least you cared for me, that you understood me but you… You just…" I couldn't stop screaming at her. I wanted to tell her how hurt I'd been feeling all this time because Dimitri had refused to see me but practically begged for her to come see him. I'd wished that Lissa would've tried a little harder to convince him that he should see be but she hadn't and for that I was heartbroken in more than one way.

''Rose, I really do not know what's wrong.'' She said sadly. She was getting in my nerves.

"Yes, you do know Lissa," I breathed. "That's the worst part of it all: that you knew!" I couldn't calm down by now. I was beyond outraged and Lissa just happened to be in my way when I was trying to tear down the world and now I was taking my rage out over Lissa.

"And you didn't do anything to help me. I told you that I loved him, that he meant everything to me and that I couldn't live without him - that I can't live without him. You did nothing…" The last part came out as a whisper. The darkness was overpowering me, my heart, my body and my mind.

"Rose, calm down!" Lissa screamed back at me and all over again the darkness bubbled up inside of me.

"No I won't calm down because you knew! You even told me to stay away from him, to give _him_ the chance to let everything sink in but what about me? Do you even know yourself why you kept me away from him?" I paused and was met by her overwhelming feelings. Sadness, hurt and confusion were all mixed.

"Then let me tell you." I said and she frowned. "Because you thought that I would hurt him. Because you didn't believe that I could truly love him. You thought that it was just a small crush and that it wasn't true love. It was a crush, a foolish and tiny crush that would soon pass!" I laughed like I was mad and maybe I was. I was starting to lose my mind because of the darkness. I was becoming shadow kissed Anna… All the darkness that my soul was holding was now free.

"Rose." She said gently but I interrupted her.

"Now everything is over, it's all over... He doesn't love me anymore." I whispered and I was surprised that she understood what I said. Νow my whole body was trembling from the truth of my own words.

"No Rose, he loves you, but he needs time to find his old self again." She told me gently, touching my hand and when she saw that I didn't interrupt her she continued, "He loves you, and besides if he didn't, he would have said that he doesn't. He wouldn't have let you all this time to press him to admit his love for you, he would have stopped you." She tried to smile unsuccessfully.

The trembling in my body was getting stronger, so strong that I had started to lose my senses a little. "That's exactly what I meant Liss." I saint gently with a voice full of pain. "He told me that he didn't love me any longer!" I screamed and then I saw a lot of guardians to coming closer to us, very close. Probably they heard our screams and they wanted to see what was going on. Honestly, I didn't care and I continued while avoiding looking at Lissa. I didn't want to see her expression.

Ι picked up a rock and threw it with all my strength in the direction that the guardians were coming and I whispered so quietly that only I could hear it, repeating Dimitri's words again,

"'_I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has.'"_

And with that phrase, I fell down on my knees crying and trembling and then the darkness overpowered me completely, drained me on all the sanity that I had left and I passed out, but not before I saw a dark figure running towards me screaming something.

**So guys, how it was it, did you like it? It's my first fanfiction so I would like to know what do you think, so please review. Especially if you want me to update because if I do not get the proper responses, I will think that you do not like it, so there will not be a reason to continue writing the story. It is not necessary to review, just follow or add to favourite if you cannot review but remember that reviews make me happy.**

**Until next time,**

**xoxo,**

**edwart forever**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the long waiting. I will try to update sooner the next time. **

**I would like to thanks my beta TrueYouth who without her you couldn't read my story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, even I want to.**

I woke up in a light, white room at the hospital - again. I wasn't surprised or frightened to wake up in a place like that, besides I had gotten used to it. I had been injured so many times by now in some kind of weird accident, it had almost become like a daily routine. But this time I didn't remember to have injured at all and neither was I hurting somewhere …

"Oh my god." I whispered. Everything was clean now. Dimitri saying that he didn't love me. Me screaming at Lissa. Me breaking down from the power of the darkness. Someone running towards me, screaming something. Oh my god, I had to leave from here. Now.

I didn't want to see anyone. I couldn't see anyone, I corrected myself. Everyone would be looking at me like I was crazy and the worst part was that maybe I was.

Lissa of course, would always be there for me, she would always be. But I would only cause her more problems. She would never gain the proper respect she deserved from the other royal families because of her insane guardian and they would never let her to participate in the council because she would always fight with them to save my sorry ass. And the worst of all was that, she would never be able to have a normal life with Christian because she would be an outsider. And all this because of me. That's why I had leave. I would go somewhere where no one could ever find me .

And as for Dimitri… I swear that in any other situation I would have tried to continue and move on with my life and have a friendly - as friendly as it could get - relationship with him. But now I couldn't, I didn't have the strength to be near him and pretend that I didn't love him. Because I did. I loved him with my whole heart. So I would leave, to let him have a normal, happy life without feeling any guilt for not loving me back and be the reason that I turned crazy. Because really, it wasn't his fault - it was just my own.

That's why I decided to write a letter to Lissa explaining to her what I was going to do from now on, at least most of the basics. I would do it so that she would not have to worry and start looking for me. She would respect my choice to leave from everyone and everything. From him.

Also in advantage, she would cover my escaping plan and she would help me not to get caught by the other guardians. This she would do by distracting them with fake information. Only she would know where I would be. No one else.

And now, when I had finished the letter it was time to find a way to get out of here without anyone noticing me, either from the inside nor from the outside.

And thát was when I noticed it for the first time. It wasn't morning, it was night, morning for 's why no one had visited me yet to see if I was okay - because they were sleeping and that meant that there weren't other people in the Court awake - except for some guardians, of course. Great. Now it was easier for me to escape without being spotted than it would've been if it was morning.

But that also meant that I was unconscious for more than a few hours. It could've been days even. A white paper on the wall proved me that I was right. I was unconscious for five days. five whole daysFor . Oh my goodness. Everybody would be so worried about me. Would he also be worried or would he just…?

No, Rose, don't think about those things, you just need to escape, I chastised myself. And that was when the ultimate idea came to me. The window in the bathroom. How did I forget the window? I went quickly to the bathroom and opened the window. Thank god it was unlocked. I had the lucky in my side - this far. Maybe now I would start to believe in God. Or… maybe not.

The window was very high from the ground and a normal person wouldn't attempt to jump from this high. But I wasn't a normal person. I was a crazy person with serious psychological problems, like Christian would've said.

I laughed bitterly at the thought that,one day, I might go crazy, like Ms Karp; from the power of spirit. And maybe, I had already started to go crazy. That was why I was trying to escape from one of the safest places in the world. The Court. Anyway, what was done was done. Lissa would be okay at least. _They come first._

I checked the site for any guardians. Great! There weren't any. Where was the high safety that we - supposedly - had? No, that I would complain about - if I ever got the chance that'll say. That there weren't any guardians out here right now was very convenient for me, but what if I was a Strigoi or if somehow Strigoi would've gotten in? Anyway, I should trust them, besides, up until now everything was fine.

I closed my eyes and I jumped. Thankfully, I landed on my two legs. All that hard training wasn't for nothing, after all. With all my strength I ran direct to my room's window, careful not to bump into someone. I climbed along the wall, up to my room and I opened the window. I was used to leave the window open for this kind of situations. You never knew what would happen in the future.

And what I saw when I got into my room was indescribable. My room was a mess. Well, it was never very tidy but this time the whole thing was out of control. The bed was covered by thousands objects. The same as the floor. Clothes, books - the few ones I had -, photos and a lot of other small things lying on them. The closets and the wardrobes were wide open and they were also in a mess.

Someone had been here because I didn't remember leaving my room like this. And I knew very well who might have been. Lissa. She must have wanted to find something of mine. That way she would feel that I was with her, like I had always been throughout her whole life. She used to do this kind of thing when someone she loved was in danger, or this person was gone. One example was when her parents had died. But I wasn't going to die, just leave. Wasn't that better?

I walked over to the wardrobe and got two big hand-bags and then I filled them with clothes, money, credit cards and my most important personal objects. I quickly changed clothes and I wore a blond, short wig from last Halloween. The wig reached me to my shoulders. To expand my "costume" I wore a pair of black sunglasses to not get recognized by the other guardians, just in case I accidentally ran into someone. I let the letter I had wrote to Lissa slip inside the latest book that she'd given to me. This to make sure that she and only she would found it. And now I was ready to leave. But I still had the feeling that I had forgotten something very important behind. Unfortunately I didn't have the time to find what was it.

Though the fate had other plans because as I was heading to the window I saw what I had forgotten. The most important things for me in the world. The photos I had of Lissa and Dimitri. It was just two photos but to me, they were everything. Especially now I needed them.

The first one was of me and Lissa after the graduation. It was the latest photo we had taken. In this picture Lissa and I were hugging and laughing uncontrollably. It wasn't a very good time then for then because of what had happened a couple weeks ago in Siberia. But that night I had a good time. I had almost had a very good time even. Because the pain from losing him could never and would never go away. It would stick around forever.

The second one was only with Dimitri. It was the only picture I had from him. He didn't like photos at all. I had tried unsuccessfully many times to take him a picture but he constantly refused it. It needed a very-well organized plan to get him this photo. I remembered it like it was yesterday.

…..FLASHBACK…

Today I had woken up very early. I wanted to go in my lesson with Dimitri at time for the first time. And believe me; there was a good reason. I wouldn't lose my precious sleep for nothing.

Yesterday, at our evening session with Dimitri, I had tried to take a picture of him but he didn't let me. He refused every single time I asked him, even when I knelt and started begging him. Really, how cruel that man could be.

Anyway, I wouldn't give it up so easily. Besides, I am Rose Hathaway and I wouldn't let him to believe that he could win so effortlessly. Not without a fight. That's why I decided not to leave from the gym this morning without his photo.

Oh my god. It was seven o'clock. How did I manage to get late to my session with Dimitri every damn time. I got my bag and I started running toward the gym. When I arrived outside, I took a deep breath and I got inside with a satanic look in my face, knowing that the camera was in my pocket.

Dimitri, as usual, was already there and he was reading a western novel. If he only knew what was waiting him, I thought a little evilly.

''Hello Comrade, how are you doing today?'' I said as innocent as I could manage. But something must have given me away because when he left his book to greet me his expression changed. From calm to confused and then to amused.

"Oh Rose, I know that look. What are you preparing, today ha?" he said laughing, obviously amused and a little curious.

"What are you saying Dimitri?" I looked him supposedly hurt "That I am preparing something bad? Me? How can you say that!" I said angrily.

"No, no, of course not Roza." He said laughing. "Not something bad, just a little…" he pretended that he was thinking "…satanic"

"Mmm, how cute Dimitri." I said sarcastically. "And for the record, I am innocent you know, except if you count the fact that I put a cockroach into Christian's bag. But that isn't your business, so…."

"I'm sorry Rose but that things don't get on me. So spit everything out. Now." He said now more serious.

"That Dimitri, really hurt my feelings!" I said while I was pretending that I was sweeping a tear from my eye "And I really would love to tell you but I have nothing to tell you." I said dramatically.

"Ah Rose." He said as he stood up from his chair and walked across the room. This was the ideal moment. "Come on, give me your bag. If you don't have nothing to hide of course." He said mockingly.

And I instead, took out the camera from my pocket and I quickly snapped a photo of him. I didn't wait to see his reaction. I started running to get as far as I could from him to hide my precious camera. I had almost gotten out from the gym and I had touched the precious black door when he caught me. I tried to escape from him but he was holding me very tight.

"Let me go!" I screamed. But he only held me tighter. I bited his hands and kicked him but he didn't back off. It was as if he didn't feel anything at all. "Let me go!" I screamed again.

"Calm down Rosa." he murmured in my ear. "I will let you go, just give me your camera." he whispered in my ear making me shiver.

"No, I won't." I said gently. "I had to go through some seriously big trouble to get that photo." I said with all the strength I had, if you take in mind that I was in Dimitri's arms. His body pressed against my own.

Then he turned me around to face him and pinned me against the wall. I shivered. Again. My lips were only inches away from his. I knew that I shouldn't have these thoughts, but I couldn't help it. He was so damn sexy.

"Roza, why do you want that photo so much?" He whispered in my ear as he was stroking my hair automatically.

"Because…" I said trembling as tears were running from my eyes. "It's the only way I can always have you with me. And you know exactly what I mean by that." I said, surprising even myself. I hadn't realized that I wanted that picture so badly. Then he raised my chin, so I could face him and swept a tear from my eye.

"Roza" he said looking straight into my eyes and unexpectedly, he kissed me.

His mouth came down on mine. And that was all the self-control I had exerted over the past months went like water crashing through a broken dam. In the beginning the kiss was gentle and sweet but then it became more angry and passionate.

When it was absolutely necessary to stop so that we could both catch our breath, he pulled away and kissed my forehead.

"Roza, I will always love you." He said gently and went toward his chair where he had his bag. But not before I told him something that I shouldn't have told him and that I would probably regret later.

"I love you too, Dimitri. I will always love you." I whispered stroking his hair.

When he reached his chair, he got took something out from his bag - something small. I couldn't see from where I stood, what exactly it was but then he approached me and showed me a picture of him.

"What's that?" I asked gently, trying to retrieve my control again. He has a big smile on his face but his eyes were sad.

"Rose that's a picture of me, a good picture of me." He grinned. "So I will always be with you ok? And in addition, now you can get rid of that awful photo you took of me where I am like I am seeing a ghost and save the humanity from that horror, ok?"

"Yes, Dimitri." I said laughing and I took the picture from him while he was deleting the photo I took him from my camera. When he finished he kissed me on the cheek and started leaving from the gym.

"And Dimitri," I called after him and he turned around so he could see me."The picture wasn't so bad you know. Although it could be a very good exhibit for the museum of terror in Pennsylvania."I said laughing.

"Good morning Rose." he said grinning and left from the room.

…FLASHBACK…

From the memory of that incident, my face was covered with tears and my eyes were swollen and red. I couldn't understand how something so pure and authentic, our love, could have ended. Because it couldn't, it didn't make sense. It was so strong, so sweet that we have. "It didn't deserve that end, it didn't'' I murmured and I kicked the wall. But fortunately I stopped in that kick.

I swept my eyes, and I took a deep breath. It was time for me to accept that fact and move on. Because he would. But that didn't mean necessarily, that I would forget him, that I would stop loving him. Because I couldn't. Not now, not ever.

Then I kissed his photo and I put them carefully in my bag , knowing that from now on that would be the only way I could see him, touch him and kiss him. And with that thought I jumped from the window, wishing that, everything was just a dream.

But unfortunately it wasn't. It was my life.

**So do you like it until now? I promise that after chapter 4 it will be more interesting. I would love to hear your opinions about what will happen next.**

**Don't forget to review because it is the way to know that you still like my story so I will continue writing it.**

**Xoxo,**

**edwartforever**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry again for the long waiting but you all know how school is it….. But as Christmas is, finally, here I hope to update sooner than last time, but it isn't only up to me as I have a beta, a very good one, who did again a great work. I hope you enjoy reading the chapter as much I did writing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead is the lucky one.**

Fortunately, I reached the gates without any problem. Like, when I went from the hospital in my room, any guardian was in my way. This time that was absolutely necessary because the only thing I was thinking, as I was running, was that I would never see again that smile. His full smile, that he rarely gave me. Only when he was in a very good mood. When he was letting himself leave his usual guardian nature and steal some romantic moments between the two of us. Roza and Dimitri.

But I would never see him. Neither his smile, nor his serious, brown eyes again. My last memory would be him telling me that he didn't love me anymore. That I was nothing for him anymore. And that was so unfair. It shouldn't have ended like this. It shouldn't.

That's why I was thankful that there weren't any guardians on the field. Because I wouldn't know what to do with my eyes full of tears and my mind stuck at the thought of Dimitri's beautiful face.

But the reality woke me up when I saw the number of the guardians who had gathered outside the gates. All the guardians that should be inside the gates were instead outside. What the hell were are they doing there? And the worst was that among them was a Moroi. A moroi that I knew very well. Christian.

So I had to find, with all costs, what was happening there. That's why I was forced to violate my rules and eavesdrop. As much as I hated when the other was doing it I didn't really have a problem to do that. Not at least when it was "kind of" my business. And I had a feeling that this was absolutely my business.

"Mike, did you hear anything about Hathaway's recovery?'' a very tall guardian, about my age said.

"Yes, she is still in the same situation. She hasn't woken up yet. That's why they called the best team of doctors to see what's wrong with her. And dude, believe me I was there when she broke down and it was very creepy. You should have seen Belikov's face." the other guardian said looking terrified.

"Yeah you're right. They should have called them sooner, not to wait until now. And about Guardian Belikov, I have never seen him like this before. So human." the other said.

I now had understood that they probably were waiting for the arrival of the doctors. My doctors. But what did he mean when he said Guardian Belikov? Was Dimitri a guardian again? And how did he act when I broke down? Had he been worried about me? No it just didn't make any sense.

My thoughts were interrupted when two black cars arrived. Four women and two men got out and the guardians helped them with their luggage and lead them inside the Court.

So now, I was the only one in the parking lot. During the time I was hiding from the guardians beside a tree I had aimed at a grey plain car - I think it was a Honda - to be my escaping car and get me as far away from Dimitri as possible.

That's why I got out from my genius hiding place - there weren't many options - and made my way to steal my "escape-plan". But as I had come across half the parking lot, Christian appeared. And before I could hide, the little bastard saw me.

"Excuse me miss, are you lost?" he asked a little mockingly while he was approaching me.

"No, sir." I said trying to change my voice and not to look direct his eyes, so he wouldn't recognized me.

"Then what are you doing here? Aren't you a doctor for Ms Hathaway?" he asked now more serious looking like he was thinking something. Which that was a very bad sign. Especially for Christian. He could always figure out that something was wrong, like when we came back to St. Vladimir.

"No, Mr. Ozera. I am the driver of the doctors. I am waiting for them to finish their job like they said to me." I said as convincingly as I could. Again without looking into his blue eyes.

"Okay then. I will let you do your work, beautiful." he winked. Oh my god, how did he dare to flirt with me when he was having a serious, very serious relationship with my best friend. Of course he didn't know that it was me but…. Or maybe he knew that I was me and he was flirting with me to make sure that I was Rose. Anyway we would never know that because, like always, I acted before I thought what I was going to do.

"What are you doing psychopath bastard? How dare to flirt with me when you are with me bes.." I hissed to him but he interrupted me when I tried to punched him.

"No, Rose. I'm not flirting with you. Geese. I won't never hurt Lissa like this. I just wanted to make sure that was you." he said and I gave him a look mixed with surprised and anger

"And how did you understand that is me oh, you genius? If I of course may I ask?" I said mockingly. One good thing about Christian was that always could help me found my arrogant self as awful as I was.

"From your bracelet" he said pointing my left hand.

"What?" I asked but I knew what he was meaning very well.

"Lissa gave you that. I helped her pick it." he said bored. "And now it's my turn to asked questions. And believe me, I have a lot." he said, grinning and when he saw my pissed expression he added, "But of course, if you want me to call the guardians and tell them that-"

"Come on fire boy, move on." I said impatiently. I had to leave and make sure that he wouldn't give me away.

"Rose, look. We may not seem to have the best relationship but I care about you." he said very serious. I hadn't seen him talk like this before, except to Lissa perhaps. He continued his lecture ignoring that I rolled my eyes.

"If I'm not wrong - and believe me, I'm not - you were trying to escape. And I'm going to ask you one thing Rose; why? You didn't think at all how will Lissa be if you leave. And what about Belikov or your other friends, hm?. They will all be so worried knowing that you are alone outside in this state" he started telling me but I interrupted him. He couldn't talk to me about these things. He didn't know anything about me, after all.

"Christian shut up, okay. You don't understand what I am going through right now." I yelled him but in a kind of gentle way. The last thing I needed to do right night was to draw attention to us.

"Yes Rose, I understand. But you think only of yourself. Lissa will…" he started but I didn't let him finish.

"Lissa will be fine. She is fine but I'm not. I need time to get away from him, from everything. Lissa will understand my decision and she will respect it. I have left her a letter." I said angrily.

"Okay let's say that Lissa will be fine. But what about him? All these days you were off he was so blank, so cold…. How will you leave him?" he asked.

"Adrian will be fine. Besides we are over. We have broken up peacefully, we are just friends now." I said impatiently. He was making fake excuses.

"I don't mean Adrian, Rose." he said suddenly very tired. "I mean Dimitri." I gasped as he spoke his words. Could Dimitri really worry about me. No, it was just hopeless to have faith that he still loved me.

"No, Christian. That isn't possible. You are lying because you want me to stay because of Lissa. He doesn't care about me". I murmured.

"Rose, he lo-" he started to say but I interrupted him - again. I couldn't hear that word again.

"Damn it Christian. Don't say that word again, okay? You, weren't there when he said that he doesn't love me, to see that he was meaning it with all his soul." I said with voice full of venom.

"No Rose" he answered back. "You, weren't there to see him how he was all this days." I tried to interrupt him but he ignored me and continued with a more powerful tone of voice.

"You weren't standing right next to him when you broke down, to see how his world turned upside down, you…"

"How was it?" I asked very gently, feeling the tears ready to escape from my eyes. And this time he paid attention to me and looked me straight to me eyes.

"How was he when I passed out?" I asked again seeing his confused expression and he answered me right away with his eyes full of sadness and sorrow. But for who? For me or Dimitri?

"The divine service had just finished and I had gone out to search for Lissa who had left a couple of minutes earlier in order to find you because she'd seen you fight with Dimitri and she wanted to make sure that you weren't about to do something stupid. But when I couldn't find you I looked for Dimitri and asked him if he had seen Lissa. I didn't tell him about you because I thought that I would pissed him off with the reference of your name. But he instead told me that Lissa would probably be with you because you weren't in a very good emotional state right now. When I was going to ask him what had happened between you two inside the church, we heard a voice screaming. It was horrible. All the people who were in the yard of the church searched for the source of the scream. A guardian saw you first and point the place you were fighting with Liss. And then you screamed again. More powerful, more lifeless. Dimitri's expression changed. It became terrified, painful and guilty. He became paler than a ghost. He was was just looking at you while you were losing control, motionless, incapable of doing anything. He was incapable of doing anything to save you. Only when you threw that rock, he seemed to find his mind again and started running towards you, screaming your name. But he didn't reach you in time. You had already lost your senses. But you kept trembling and screaming, like the darkness wanted to take all your life from your body until it left you a lifeless creature. You finally stopped after a couple of minutes but during that short amount of time… I don't know, Belikov seemed so helpless. He was screaming for help and he was trying to wake you up but you were already lost in the darkness and it didn't seem to exist a way back from that state. I would swear that he was crying if I didn't know him so well. The follwing days he didn't leave your side in the hospital, only for his guardians duties. You see, he was Lissa's guardian until you would be okay again. Everyday, he's been so cold and emotionless. He doesn't really live. He just survive. He needs you."

And with those words, Christian finished his narration of my missing piece. When he was done he looked me like he was waiting me to change my decision. But he was wrong. Maybe Dimitri cared about me but he didn't love me. If he truly loved me, he would never have said those words to me.

_I've given up on you. Love fades, mine has… _The words still haunted me and made it feel like a fist was clenching my heart, trying to make it explode, making me fall into a billion little pieces.

That's why I felt that it was now more important than ever to leave court. I had to give Dimitri an opportunity to have a happy life without pain and guilt.

"No, Christian." I murmured with my voice unrecognizable from the crying and the trembling. He looked surprised and I felt like I had to give him an explanation."I'm leaving because that will be the best for everyone. Not only for me. Think about that. I will only hold you back with my unsolved problems. I won't let you have the life you deserve. Maybe I can't save my life, not anymore but you guys have a second chance away from troubles and the danger lurking behind every corner."

"But Rose, that's what I don't get... Why are you unable start over? Make a new start away from the problems of your past, move on and forget." Christian said to me a little angry.

"Because Christian I don't want to make a new life. I want to have the life where he exists and he is with me" I said powerfully.

"Yes, Rose of course you do but if you leave, he won't be with you. He will be here and you'll be somewhere else. So it will be the same as if you stay. Only, you'll cause other people who cares about you even more pain and grief over losing you." he said gently

"No Christian it won't be the same. If I stay, I will have to forget him and I can't do it. I don't want to do it. If I stay, I'll have to remember and I have to look at him every single day, feeling sad because I can't kiss him or even call him 'Comrade'- So if I leave I will be able to keep my memories, as painful as they are, without holding anyone back. I can remember without him seeing me losing my mind. That's why I want you to let me leave, so I can pretend that I have a normal life. So please." I said having the control of my body and mind again.

"Look Rose, I understand what you are saying and if I were you, I would want to do the same thing." he grinned. "But you know I can't let you leave like this. If Lissa finds out that I left you to leave without trying to prevent you, she will kill me so…"

"So what fire boy." I said finding my old self, grinning wickedly at him.

"You have ten minutes before I called the guardians, psychopath. Here are the keys for the Honda." he gave me the keys smiling sardonically.

"Thanks Christian and remember," I said as I was making my way toward the car. "If you ever hurt my best friend I will find you and I will kill you slowly and painfully."

"Yeah, I know that very well by now, I've heard it a couple of times." he murmured. He had almost gone inside the Court when he turned around to say his last goodbyes.

"And Rose," he said. "I hope you don't regret your decision and… as crazy as it sounds I really think that I will miss your cold jokes." he said smiling. But not sarcastically, a real smile.

"Goodbye fire boy, and I will miss your awful jokes too." I screamed and I wished he was right and I was taking the right decision.

The last thing I saw before I got too far away from the Court was a dozen of guardians running out from the gates. But Dimitri wasn't among them and with that thought I increased the speed, afraid that I would turn around because I wanted to ask me if he'd been lying to me.

Because as afraid as I was to admit it, the person who was screaming my name when I passed out, seemed to love me, really love me.

But _love fades. Mine has. _What if he had lied to me, like with Victor Daskov's spell?

Had I after all taken the wrong decision?

**So, yeah… Rose is leaving for real. **

**I would love to hear your comments about the chapter and any questions you may have. Also, would you like to read a part of the next chapter from Dimitri's point of view?**

**Until next time,**

**xoxo,**

**edwartforever**


	4. Chapter 4

**Holidays are over and school is starting again. I hope this chapter makes you feel a little better as impossible as it seems. **

**Disclaimer; I do not own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead is the lucky one.**

After hours and hours of driving I had finally arrived in New York. Yeah, New York. It was very difficult for me to decide where I was going to spend the rest of my life, theoretically at least, as it was very easy for the guardians to find me.

That's why I chose New York city. A huge, overcrowded city and also a place where they wouldn't think I'd ever go. It was too obvious. Anyway I also decided to change my name. Not only for the obvious reasons but because it reminded me a lot of things I wanted to forget. The feelings and the thoughts I was remembering of him telling me the things he did. _Roza. _

From now on, my name would be Maria Wait. Yes, it was a terrible name but I couldn't think anything else. It also combined my real name. Rose**marie** – Maria - and Hatha**way** – Wait.

And as if it couldn't be better, my new job would be in a library. Yeah, I was going to work as a librarian. Wasn't that a cosmic mockery; I hate books. I wished though that I could get a job that would include some action and not useless books. But it would be much easier for the guardians to find me in one of those professions. But at least I had in mind to start taking kickboxing lessons or I join a gym so that I would not lose my amazing shape.

Finally I stopped my car outside a grey building. When I went to find a job at a library near the city center, I asked the manager if she knew any place that I could stay and she suggested that I'd stay in a building which belonged to her uncle and he would offer me a special price. I don't know why but this woman liked me very quickly and it was weird since I went into the library, dressed pretty 'inappropriate', as Kirova would've put it. Worst was that the woman was quite identical to her. As I said; weird.

Anyway I got inside the hotel whose name was Dimis' place - seriously, what had I done to deserve that? I waited in the reception until a man around forty five, maybe fifty appeared. He was hot for his age and seemed quite modern.

"Hello can I help you?" he asked politely.

"Yes I want to rent a room." I said as kindly as I could. I was already miserable and the fact that the name of the hotel - or better said my new home - was Dimis' didn't help the situation.

"Are you Maria Wait, the girl who's working with my niece?" he asked obviously surprised.

"No- Yes, I mean." Damn it, I hadn't get used to my new name yet. "But how do you know who I am?" I didn't care but I asked him anyway to steer away from my little mistake.

"You know this is a hotel where we only in special occasions rent out rooms, usually to young people who need help, so…" he said apologetically.

"Okay, so I guess that you've already prepared my room." I asked a little mockingly. What to do, the habits, difficult changes...

"Yes we have Maria, if I may call you by your first name." I nodded in response and he continued. "So if I don't want to ask too much why a girl like you, work in a library - no offense." he said grinning, showing my body. I laughed and answered back.

"I wonder why a guy like you who might be hotter than Brad Pitt, work as a receptionist in that awful building." I shot back.

"Oh you are good, very good… Great comeback, but you really hurt my feelings. Although I liked your comment about my appearance." he said, grinning. "By the way, I'm Dimitri Mane, but you can call me Dimi as you may have already guessed by the sign outside." He pointed towards the exit and the sign.

"I prefer to call you Mr. Mane. Would that a problem?" I asked a little embarrassed. "There's no way to put another Dimitri in my life. One is more than enough." I added.

"No, not at all." he said as he was giving me the keys for my room. "Is he a terrible and idiotic ex? The guy who has the same name as me, I mean." he asked a little curious and maybe a little worried about the quick change of my mood.

"No." I yelled as I was heading to the elevator across the room. "I wish he was but he was just my teacher." I added and I heard him laughing before the door of the elevator closed completely.

If he only knew, I thought to myself letting a tear fall from my eyes.

**DPOV**

It was just a dream. Calm down. Rose was safe. She was in the Court. In the hospital.

Oh my god.

It was seven am and I had just woken up from my long sleep. The last four days I hadn't slept at all. When I was out of duty I spent my days by Roza's side. I couldn't sleep knowing that Rose was in danger, but last night on my way to the hospital, guardian Croft had told me to go to sleep or else I couldn't protect Vasilisa properly. So I couldn't avoid his orders, especially not now. I wasn't in the best position.

I took a shower and dressed very quickly so I could go to see Roza before my shift started. Despite the early hour, a lot of people had woken up and the guardians were quite energetic. Under other circumstances, I would have noticed that great difference but right now I had a lot of things on my mind. Specifically one. Roza.

As I arrived outside the hospital and was about to go inside, guardian Croft called out my name.

"Good morning guardian Croft, how can I help you?" I asked in a serious voice, wearing my 'guardian mask' as Rose would've said. I needed to get inside, I was going insane not seeing Roza.

"I want you to come with me Dimitri. We've got something very serious to discuss." he told me and his voice contained concern and what was that? Pity?

"Yes sir, but I would like to see Ms Hathaway first. May I please?" I asked him formally.

"I'm afraid you can't." he said, keeping the same voice.

"Why is that? What is so serious that it can't wait a minute?" I asked, feeling myself get a little angry. I hadn't seen Rose since yesterday morning and as far as I could see there weren't any Strigoi attack around here, so what was so serious?

"Because she isn't in the hospital. She ran away. Again." With those words my world came crashing down again. It was the second time in five days now.

As soon as I got over the shock, I started asking Hans about Rose's escape but he told me to wait with the questions and then, he led me to his office.

When we got there, Rose's friends were already there. In Hans's office sat Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mia, and Adrian. To my big surprise Abe and guardian Hathaway were also there. With them was an alchemist. Rose had mentioned her. I thought her name was Sydney.

"Dimitri!" Lissa exclaimed but Hans interrupted her.

"Well, we all know the reason we are all here. Rose…." He started but this time I was the one to interrupt him.

"No, I don't." I said harshly. "Rose escaped from Court. Isn't Court supposed to be the safest and most well guarded place in the world? How you explained that to me, ha? You still haven't told me all the details Guardian Croft. I have the right to know what happened." I said in a very indignant voice. I was almost yelling.

"Guardian Belikov, believe me when I tell you that none in here or none at Court knows more than you at the time about this... situation." Hans paused. "We don't have any other clues except Christian's saying. He saw Rose leaving in a car from the Court and called the guardians. That's it, nothing else" he said defensively.

"Okay, so what are we going to do?" I asked impatiently.

"I sent some guardians to find her but they couldn't find any clue about where she went and we can't afford to send more guardians after her. Also, she is an adult and she has a right to do whatever she want. We can't force her to come back. So we will wait for her to communicate with us." He said suddenly very tired.

"What?" I yelled and everyone looked over at me in surprise. I could usually hide my personal emotions but this was too much even for me. I couldn't keep my rage in but instead exploded out of anger. My Roza was in danger and they wouldn't do anything about it.

"Rose is all alone, in a world she doesn't know and you won't do anything because she's of age. Are you out of your minds? She's just a teenage girl, she won't know what to do." I knew that the most of what I said wasn't true but it was part of my persuasive speech.

"I really am sorry Dimitri but we can't do anything. Guardians are very important at that time and we can't waste their capacity for a mission which probably won't have any good results in the end. If Hathaway doesn't want to to come back that means she won't. May I repeat myself, but she is of age, we can't do anything else to get her back."

"No you can't." I said grinning and they looked me questioningly. "But I can and I will." I added to explain them what I was meaning.

"Dimitri you can't find her all alone, she could be anywhere." he said with pity.

"Yes she can." I said "But I promised her and myself that I'd always keep her safe. And I will keep that promise even if I have to turn the world upside down to find her." I said and I walked out from the office, slamming the door shut behind me and I left everyone else in there speechless. But I didn't care. Maybe once I would've, but not anymore. The only thing I wanted was to hold Rose, my Roza, in my arms. Even though I didn't deserve her, and believe me I didn't. Not after what I had done to her. She deserved something better, much better. And certainly it wasn't what she had now. That's why I was going to find her and give her, her life back. The life she deserved to have.

Even if it was the last thing I would do.

**So…. Did you like it?**

**Review and tell me what you think or you are waiting for the next chapter.**

**XOXO,**

**Edwartforever**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am the worst writer ever, two whole months to update, I am so sorry. Anyway thank you for your good reviews, I am happy to know that there are still people that read my story and they have not been bored with it or with my behaviour. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, Cassandra Claire is the lucky one.**

RPOV

From the time I woke up, I knew that the day was going to suck. And it proved - like always - that I was right.

I woke up at six o'clock, like I did every morning, and went on my daily routine. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, got dressed and did my hair. I was ready to leave for work but something stopped me. I felt as if I had something forgotten something.

In the end, it proved - once again - that I had forgotten to note in my "diary" the number of the days that I had been away from the Court. I did it every day. And to my big surprise it had been past two months. But why was it that I felt like it had already been two years?

After a week or so after I had escaped from the Court, Lissa and Adrian visited in my dreams. Adrian had been coming with a lot of annoying question which I hadn't been answering and he'd been refusing to leave too. But I'd agreed that we'd be in contact every two months because that was Lissa's condition for not to telling the guardians where I was. After all this time she had actually learned something for me. Although it wasn't very good for me, I was so proud of her. My little girl had grown up.

As for Adrian, he had promised me not to visit me in my dreams again. Not that it would be a great problem as I rarely slept anymore. Yeah, it was very weird for me, sleeping was my second nature but I couldn't stand the dreams I was having. There weren't bad, not at all, instead they were really good. I was dreaming about him. Smiling at me, kissing me, even lecturing me, that's why I couldn't sleep over two or three hours. But the next Saturday I would have to sleep as Lissa would visit me.

When I got out of my room, that was when realization hit me. Today, this date was the day that I first saw Dimitri. The day when he came to get Lissa and me back the academy. The day that changed my life.

And the bad luck continued and at work. One of my partners was sick so it was up to me and the other girl, Jane, to make sure her work was done. We ended up splitting it in half between the two of us. I ended up to take the corridors 5, 7 and 9. And guess what, they were the corridors with the westerns. You would wonder how there were so many, trust me - I was thinking the same as I was cleaning them. It felt as if they were endless. And as if my luck couldn't get any worse, Dimitri's favorite book fell down from its shelf and that was it for me. I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. In the begging I only had to dust them so I wouldn't have to see them but when the book fell…

To clear my mind I went to the nearest gym to relax. But as I got there, two guys wouldn't get off my back and one of them was named Dimitri. Until this day, I hadn't thought that Dimitri was such a popular name. Perhaps I was some kind of 'guys-named-Dimitri-magnet'. When I went to the hotel I got greeted by Mane. I really liked the guy. In two months we had become best buddies, I felt like I'd known him for forever and he always seemed to understand me although he really didn't. But to tell the truth no one really understood me completely. Not even Lissa. But… one person had managed it.

When I got out of work and got ready to leave from the library I saw a guy, a very tall guy to be specific. It wasn't until I arrived at the gym, that I realized what I had seen. A tall guy wearing a weird black gabardine. Everything I was holding fell from my shaking hands. I wanted to scream. In addition when I was getting into the bus, to take me to the hotel, I heard someone calling Roza, but when I turn my head I didn't see anyone. Who could it have been? There is not any way to have found me and still they couldn't have discovered me since I was wearing my blond wig and black glasses. Don't even get started about the awful clothes I wore.

So as I was heading to the hotel I was choosing between two options that might be possible about what might have happened. A; I had eventually gone crazy from the darkness of the spirit or I was always crazy but I hadn't realized it until now. And B; Dimitri was searching for me and he had found me.

Probably A, as Christian would certainly say. He always supported that I was crazy and I hided it. If that was really the case, I must've been great at hiding that insane part of me.

But my thoughts surprisingly interrupted when I saw, hanging on the hangers in the hall, a black gabardine and I knew very well whom it belonged to. But when I asked Mane about it, he was as surprised as me to see it there because he knew that no one had come to the hotel today. Nor had anyone left, except me of course.

I headed to my room with my mind blank. I took a shower, put on my pajamas and lay down on my small bed. I wasn't going to sleep for at least 5 hours so I decided to read one of the books, I took from the library or truth to be told, the books that Lila, one of my colleagues, had given me.

After ten minutes of skipping through the book, I couldn't stand it any longer and I threw the book into the wall, just like I'd done with all the other books I'd been trying to get through after the first one. Why did I do it? The answer was simple; the books were a series and the protagonist's name was Dimitri. Picking up another book, it was a western and I didn't even bother to try.

Since it was only ten thirty, I decided to call Mane to tell him to bring me a book of his and a giant chocolate bar. The last couple of months my appetite for food had decreased a lot. You may not believe it but that was the case. I only ate once a day and that was always some kind of sweet treat in minimal amount. If I got to decide on my own, I'd rather eat nothing but that wasn't even up for discussion. I'd lost a lot weight during these past few months and if I wanted to keep staying in good shape, I had to at least try.

People usually ate a lot when they were depressed but for me it was different. I may have asked Mane to being me that chocolate bar but it didn't mean I would eat it once I got it.

It had passed almost an hour from the time I called Mane and I found it very weird that he hadn't come yet. He usually came himself when I asked for something but despite that he sometimes sent someone else, they should've been here by long since. When I was ready to call him again the door finally knocked. I put on my blond wig and I opened the door only to see my sweetest dream and worst nightmare, looking at me dangerously.

I swear that I literally felt my heart crack.

DPOV

"No Lissa, I haven't find her yet but I am pretty close now." I said to her, bored. This talk was getting old seeing as it happened everyday. It was always the same. Have you found Rose yet? Where have you been looking? You should look there. Find her quickly Dimitri! "I have to go now Lissa. You be careful, okay?"

"Yes Dimitri I will and you be careful too, find her quickly!" she said worryingly. Rose's escape from Court had Lissa worried sick and no one but Christian could help her stand on her feet.

"Yes I will, goodnight Lissa," I said and hung up the phone after I heard her tell me goodbye too. I hated lying to her but there wasn't another way to calm her down.

The past couple of months I had been searching for Rose nonstop but I hadn't found a single sign that could tell me where she might be. I had gone to Siberia, and all the other dhampir cities I knew but she hadn't even travelled through them. So the last month I started looking more closely at the most popular human cities but no sign of her there either.

"Damn it, where are the hell are you Roza." I yelled and a woman who was driving a car next to me looked at me like I was crazy. I ignored her. I hated driving at the streets of New York, they were so crowded that you have to wait for hours until the traffic lights gives you a good to go.

I got out the car and shut the door angrily. There was no way that I would get anywhere from here and a walk might start to calm me down and give me some time to think. But I didn't know what to think. I had gone to all the places I thought Rose might be at, I had asked Lissa and even Rose's parents but she wasn't in none of these place. I had taught her everything she knew and I couldn't find her. Great.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted because of the two young boys, near the age of seventeen, talking.

"So do you want to go to the library?" One of them said.

"Are _you_ going to the library? " the other one laughed. "Are you okay Mike? Do feel sick in any way. Should I call someone?" he continued laughed.

"No you idiot, I'm not going to the library to study." The boy who's name was Mike, said.

"Are you sure about that? Because if we're not going to the library to study then what are we doing there?" said boy-without-name.

"Look." Mike said and grabbed boy-without-name by the neck. "The other day my sister sent me to the library to return a book for her and I saw the most sexy woman I have ever seen." he said like he was in dreamy land.

"And how do we know she will still be there you moron?" boy-without-name asked.

"Because she works there," Mike said and boy-without-name looked at him surprised. " Yeah I know that it's weird to find a librarian sexy, but this girl is gorgeous. Look I took her a photo secretly."

After numerous efforts I saw the picture. It was a not very tall girl, slim but with curves - very familiar curves - and with short blond hair. Why did I have a feeling that I knew her? I kept walking, always having in my mind that girl. She was very beautiful, she had brown eyes which looked like Rose's a lot and she was wearing a bracelet which Rose had a similar one to. But no it wasn't similar with hers, it was the same. Oh my god, Roza was in New York.

How it hadn't crossed my mind. Rose loved New York. All this time she was here and she worked as a librarian and I was looking for her on the other side of Earth. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

But I wouldn't waste any more time, I would go to the library and find her. So in my hurry to see her again I didn't notice the blond woman who was getting in the bus right front from my car. But fortunately I would see her again, although I didn't know it, that night.

That day last year changed my life completely but and this year it was going to do the same with it.

**Although I am unforgivable please continue showing me your love by reviews and sharing your thoughts about the story**

**XOXO, **

**Edwartforever**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

Chapter 6

When I was ready to call him again the door finally knocked. I wore my blond wig and swept the hair out of my eyes, which was like a habit now, and opened the door only to see my sweetest dream and at the same time, my worst nightmare looking me dangerously.

"Hello, Rose" he said with a look I couldn't analyzed completely, but I didn't stay to figure it out. Before he managed to finish his sentence I had closed the door and jumped from the window. Thank God that my room was at the ground floor.

I didn't know what to do. I was thinking to run, hide, and even leave from New York, but when l turned around to see if he was following me I didn't see anyone. What the hell? Had I imagined him?

The best thing I could do was to grab my things from the hotel and leave so that I could be sure that he would never find me. The worst thing was that when I saw him, the only thing I wanted to do was to hug him, kiss him but I knew that it was wrong. Maybe I have tons of disadvantages but I wasn't selfish. Damn it.

I hadn't realized I was wandering around the streets for hours. Today was Sunday so I had the day off from work. As it was darkening, yeah it had past almost twenty hours from the time I saw Dimitri- at least I think that I did- at my door.

When I arrived at the small hotel, I decided to ask Mane about the unpleasant events which took place outside my room last night.

"So Maaane, how things are in the business?" I asked as innocent as I could.

"Mmm, everything is fine, Rose, why are you asking?" He said, not taking his eyes away from the computer.

"Nothing. I just wonder if you have another new client, nothing serious" I said trying to be relax and casual.

"No, I don't." He said grinning "Why, did you find a new boy to torture? Did you get over your teacher?'

"Not absolutely not." I almost screamed without to realize it. "Just last night I saw h… never mind, it was probably a dream." I murmured and before he had the chance to tell me what I already guessed which was that I was crazy, I went to my temporary warm little home.

I made a cup of coffee, Mane had given me his old coffee machine, and I headed to my bedroom to relax and forget that awful day. But all the hot coffee poured in my shirt from the surprise I felt when I saw my Dim... him, just him, sitting in the edge of my bed.

"Aaah!" I screamed as I burned myself from the coffee.

"Rose, are you ok?" He went to help me but I backed away and raised my hands in defense.

"Stay away from me," I screamed." Don't you dare touch me," and when he didn't say anything, I continued. "What the hell do you want here, how did you find me, ha?" I asked.

"Ok, Rose, one question at a time." He said grinning and that wasn't good, it wasn't good at all.

"Don't call me like that, my name is Maria now, not Rose" I said very angry. I didn't know that I still had so much anger about what had happened.

"Yes, I learned about that," he said vaguely and kept talking, ignoring my numerous attempts to speak. "So in answer to your questions, I came here to find you and bring you back to the Court," he said seriously and I couldn't control myself from laughing. That situation was ridiculous, and then they tell you not to believe in "Deaza Vous".

"And what makes you to believe that I would want to come back, and with you especially?" I said after I managed, after huge efforts, to stop laughing.

"Rose," he said amused with my angry expression. "I am very sad to learn that you haven't learn anything about me from our sessions," He waited a little for my reaction, still only angry glances mixed with a little curiosity. "I always get what I want." He said in answer to my questioning look.

"Not this time, comrade." Without realizing what I just said, the old nickname jumped from my mouth. But I was proud of myself for managing to cover up the mistake. "Unfortunately I have a lot of responsibilities to take care of and I can't go back to the Court until…" I pretended that I was thinking. "Mmm never, too bad for you. So excuse me, I have to find another place to stay," and before I finished my sentence I had started running, leaving him behind me, speechless.

"Byeeeee Mane," I yelled but kept running. I didn't try to look back in case he caught up with me. After a lot of running I ended up in a park where I tried to climb a tree but as always, he had found me. Damn it.

"Let me go!" I screamed. He kept me up there in the tree and he was holding my both hands tight. And the worst hadn't happened yet. Oh my.

"Calm down, Roza, you are coming with me whatever happened. I can't let you escape. But it is in your hand it'll be the easy way or the hard way, you choose" he whispered in my ear making my whole body tremble.  
Really, how many things did he think I could stand?

Before I forgot completely who I am, I started kicking him, punching him, even biting him. Every form of violence was acceptable in this kind of situation.

"Ok then, obviously you chose my favorite way. Great." He picked me up and placed me on his shoulders but I didn't stop hitting him and screaming.

After what it seemed like an eternity, we reached his car and he, seriously now, tied me in the seat of the passenger.

"What is that?" I asked him poisonously and he just laughed a cold laugh and then started driving without answering my question.

I felt the tears dropping in my eyes and tried to hold them back not wanting to look weak in front of him. I wasn't crying because I was heading back to the Court nor due to the tense of the moment but because I realized that I had still a hope that Dim- him would still love me, that everything I lived the past two months was a lie, but he couldn't care less, as it seems. The worst was that I knew, very well, that as many as years past I would still love him until death.

I turned my head away from him feeling vulnerable. How have we ended like this? The only man, person, with I felt safe and protected to feel like this, broken.

I decided not to speak to him for the rest of the trip but I couldn't control myself from asking him that question.

"Why?"

**I know that I have not updated in ages but I hope that that chapter was a little comforting for my unacceptable behavior.**

**By the way I changed Beta since TrueYouth has too many responsibilities at this time of year. My new Beta, SarahBelikova, did an amazing job and I hope you liked it.**

**Please I would truly appreciated if you showed me your opinion about my story by reviewing because I am starting to have some doubts about my work, do you still like it?, and I do not really have a motive to continue writing and I have a huge writing block.**

**Xoxo,**

**Edwartforever**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

"Why"

''What did you say?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the road. His expression seemed … sad, angry, I couldn't understand he was so distant. And I, oh god, why the hell I had said that?

"I didn't say anything," I murmured, avoiding eye contact with him. Firstly, because right now I was an open book, full of sadness and pain, and maybe I had lost everything, but not my dignity. And secondly, I knew that if I looked at him, everything that I wanted to say to him all these months would come out from mouth and I would regret it.

"Yes, you did. What did you mean 'why?' Rose?" He said now looking at me, and that was the last straw. I couldn't stand it anymore and I literally collapsed. I wasn't famous for my self- control.

"Why, the hell, did you come here, huh?" I asked, thanking god that he didn't interrupt me, because I have a lot of things to say. "You broke me, you know, you turned me into pieces. There were times that I hated myself for what I had become and that's all because of you!" I was screaming now. I sounded so helpless.

Theoretically I should've waited for answers to my questions but before he could speak, I continued my monologue.

"What I said before was, 'why, why? You loved me, so why did you stop loving me? You always said that what we have, had, was big, so how could you just end it? Because to me, it hadn't finished, it will damn never be finished." All my anger was released and I said, or yelled, something I have never said.

"I will always love you. You may hurt me numerous times, but I will damn never stop loving you because, you are everything to me, believe it or not. And I left to let you be happy, all of you, but you came back here and ruined everything again," I said, broken.

But his answer was that really broke me.

"I am sorry," he said sadly. That was all, just an apology? It wasn't enough, I hated when people apologized without purpose and he knew it. I lost the minimum control I had and started hitting him weakly in the chest, feeling my heart breaking.

I screamed to him between my heavy sobs of crying. "Why are you sorry?" I screamed weakly. "Because you don't love me anymore, because you never really loved me as strong as I did? Because I was never good for you, because you didn't realize soon enough that I was just an immature girl who never could be suitable for you?" I laughed sadly. "Why are you sorry?" I asked suddenly very tired.

The car had stopped; he had probably stopped when the situation got out of control completely. At that moment I was awful, red wet eyes and face, my whole body trembling but I didn't stop looking at him. I knew what his answer would be like: a stupid Zen life lesson, or maybe nothing.

Instead, he just grabbed my hand and led me out from the car. Maybe he didn't want to see me after all.

He leaned me against the side of the car and I saw his face, really saw his face; it was full of anger, pain, sadness and even tears. Dimitri never cried. I tried to speak but he cut me off.

"No, now you will listen to me," he said, powerfully.

"Rose, I don't know why you think those things- no I know, I made you think all this, not directly but how I was behaving towards you. When I became dhampir again, I was feeling terrible, all the bad things I had done, the things I had done to you," I tried to protest but my attempt was useless.

"No, listen, I didn't want to be in your life again, because I was afraid that I would never let you move on and forget. That's why I tried to be distant towards you because I thought that you felt guilty about what I had gone through and that's why you wanted to be near me – only because you felt responsible, not because you loved me- It isn't logical to love me." He said and shook his head sadly.

He had now been lost in his own thoughts and he was looking at me – without realizing it- with eyes full of sadness, ready to cry while he was stroking my hair.

I couldn't stand seeing him like that; it made my already broken heart break into million smaller pieces. Consequently, I couldn't manage to control myself anymore and burst out in uncontrollable sobs. That seemed to wake him up from his mysterious thoughts and made him sadder, if that was humanly possible.

"Rose, Roza, don't cry, please," He begged

"No, no, please, don't give me fake excuses to make me feel better," I said looking in his eyes, and holding his shirt in my hands to try and stay up and not pass out. "You don't love me, you don't care about me, besides why you would love me…I am… nothing" I said, looking at my feet.

"Rose, look at me." He said. I didn't obey his order, but kept repeating the phrase, "I am nothing, I am crazy." This made Dimitri swear, something he never did.

"Roza, don't say that again, you hear me?" He screamed angrily, his trembling body catching my attention.

"Please don't pretend that…" I couldn't continue. I should end this quickly; I had already so much pain inside of me. "You should leave, you know. Yeah, it's better to leave me on my own, get back to your life find someone who is good enough for you and forget about me. You don't need me ruining your life again. You feel guilty about my condition and you think that you love me but it is only the guilt talking." I couldn't say it so I said, "you are going to regret it and I am not letting you do that to your life." I said determined to leave.

He stopped me, smiling. Yeah, he was smiling but that didn't last long, as it was a fake smiling hiding so much pain.

"You are so stubborn, you know that?" He said seriously.

"Dimitri don't," I started but he interrupted my words.

"You aren't going to leave, not again. I told you so many times…actually, I didn't, because with all your interruptions, you never once let me finish." He said annoyed and continued, "after the incident outside the church I finally realized and accepted that…" he said and I looked him with curiosity.

"…I can't live without you. I was so stupid to..," but this time, with my strong yells, I didn't let him finish.

"No, no you can't, Dimitri. You don't love me," I said hopelessly. It made him lose his temper completely. He shut my mouth with his hands and started yelling to me angrily.

"Damn you, Rose. You don't know how I feel, okay? I was stupid, so stupid to make you think all that things but I had already hurt you so much and I didn't believe that you could forgive me, I still don't. And you were with Adrian, I thought that you had moved on, so who was I to destroy your life all over again?" He took a breath and continued.

"But when you were in the hospital, in that condition, it made me rethink all the things that happened between us and I talked with Adrian, he told me that you weren't together and also what you have told him about me….. So I made my decision and when you woke up I was going to talk you, really talk to you… about everything that had happened and I was going to do whatever you want, because obviously my tactic didn't have very good results," he said and laughed coldly.

All the time he was talking, he wasn't really looking me but then he stared at my brown eyes and told me the words that left me speechless, the words that I thought I would never hear from him again.

"I love you, Roza. I never stopped loving you and I will never stop loving you. It isn't possible." He said never leaving my tearing eyes. "But can you forgive me for causing you so much pain? I am really sorry, but I understand if you can't forgive me, it's truly okay, really, besides I am unacceptable," he said sadly, trembling afraid of my answer.

Apr 19Could I really forgive him? And for what? All this time I believed that I wouldn't hear from him that words again and I knew that I shouldn't believe him so easily but seeing in his eyes I knew that his was telling the truth. Our relationship was difficult but at least it was true and full of love. But did as they say, love isn't enough for a relationship to survive, and he had already hurt me so much….. After deep thoughts, I had finally taken my decision.

"I don't forgive you," I said and I swear that I felt his heart break. He started to speak but I didn't let him. "There's nothing to forgive, really," I said breaking my serious expression and smiling.

"Rose, I have done so much," he said sadly, the relief an obvious tone in his voice.

"Yeah you have, but not what you think that you need to be forgiven. That wasn't you." I said seriously and he looked me with curiosity.

"I can forgive what you did to me only with one condition," I said, tears falling for my eyes.

"Anything, I will do anything for you," He said desperately, sweeping the tears that was running uncontrollably in my face with his trembling hands.

"Don't you ever dare leave me again, comrade." I said still crying and fell into his hug, holding him so hard afraid that it was only a dream and in any moment he would be disappear and leave me alone again.

"No, no. Not ever again, my Roza." He said, also crying. Dimitri buried his head in my hair and stroked it idly.

Suddenly, after a while, he backed off a little and I lost my word completely. I didn't have the courage to look at him afraid of what he going to tell me. Was he having regrets?

"Roza, look at me," he said, raising my chin.

He didn't say anything, he just kissed me.

But it wasn't just a kiss; it felt like it was the first time that I sensed his lips on mine and ten times better.

He pressed me up against the door strongly, but I didn't care; the only thing I wanted was to be as close as I could be to him. The kiss wasn't sweet or soft but it was hungry and passionate , like making up for lost time from all those months we'd been apart.

And of course, I didn't want to just kiss, so I made a move to take off his shirt. Then I remembered that we were still on the street, in public. I didn't have a problem with that but I wasn't sure if Dimitri shared the same opinion with me. But he surprised me.

"Don't stop, we are alone, the place is isolated." He whispered in my ear, making me shiver. Taking a quick glance, I realized he was right.

He took me by surprise by lifting me up and wrapping my legs around his hips, placing me in the back seat after he had opened the door sharply with his leg.

"You missed me," he said and took off my shirt.

That was the last thing I heard him say, except the repeated calls of my name, before I lost complete contact with the rest of the word. The only thing that mattered now was.

After we finished, I rested my head in his chest and let myself fell asleep with the thought that Dimitri really did love me.

"I love you," I said, as my eyes were closing. I thought I heard him answering back with the wrong words, "me too Rose but I wish you didn't, I don't deserve someone like you".

In any other situation I would have started an argument, but right now I had already fallen asleep, dreaming of me sleeping on Dimitri which was exactly what was happening in the reality.

Besides there was nothing I would want in my life but him.

**The update this time was fast, wasn't it?**

**Thank you guys for all your reviews, although there weren't many but I really appreciated it.**

**In this chapter I think and I am sure you have the same opinion with me, happened a lot of things so I certainly want your opinion about these things. I won't update until everyone of you, reviews. (Of course I am kidding, in a couple of weeks I will certainly have updated whether you have reviewed or not).**

**Χ****oxo,**

**edwartforever**


	8. Chapter 8

**Now the chapter 8 beta-ed thanks to ilovesos9467**

**Disclaimer; I do not own nothing**

Chapter 8

After months of bad sleep, last night I had finally managed to get some good sleep. All of those sleepless nights due to him, Dimitri, who now was with me.

Or no, he wasn't.

When I woke up and opened my eyes, I didn't face what I wanted to face; Dimitri beside me. Instead of that, I was all alone in the back seat of the car, fully dressed and Dimitri was nowhere to be found as I released with a quick glance I had in the area.

And if it couldn't be worst, we weren't anymore at the place that we had stopped yesterday, or at least I thought we had. We were in the forest outside the Court. Only a couple of kilometers away from me was the place that I thought that I would never seen again.

But now what interested me more was to learn if everything that had happened last night was just a dream, a very good dream.

So to start with, the certain part is that Dimitri had found me in New York and had kidnapped me to bring me back to the Court as I couldn't be here where I was, in any other way. But my problem now wasn't how I came here, I really didn't care, in any other situation I would, but now I had more important things to worry about; had I last night told Dimitri my true feelings for him and had he said that….

But no, he wouldn't, that was probably my imagination. I was already crazy and I hadn't released it yet. How could I believe that he would want me back, that he had still feelings from me?

So, I decided, it was final; I had lost my mind.

Maybe yesterday, dreaming, I had changed my decision and wanted to get back to the Court, to normal life, with him but that was just an illusion; we couldn't be together. That's why I changed my mind again and there was no way to go back there where everyone thought that I was crazy. Not that they were wrong but….

So the only problem now was how I would get out of here. That problem was solved easily as he had forgot the car keys in the ignition. Did he really think that I was so incapable of running away again to leave me alone in the car with his keys?

Or was there any chance that the things I remembered to had happened yesterday be the reality and not just a dream? But again why was I dressed?

Fighting with myself about what to do, I opened the door of the car and got out trembling slightly about all the things that had happened and most important about the things that hadn't happened yesterday and as a result not to see in front of me and fall into a muscled chest.

"Steady, Rose" he said chuckling and put his hand in my waist hugging me. "What were you thinking that you were so lost?"

But I couldn't answer to him, I was speechless. Yesterday wasn't a dream, Dimitri loved me, we were together. Dimitri loved me. From my happiness I literally wanted to start hopping around, but, and only God knows how, I managed to hold myself.

"Earth to Rose, do you hear me?" he asked worried.

"Yes I am fine, Comrade" I said smiling, turning around to see him.

"It doesn't seem so" he said seriously sweeping a tear from my eye. "What happened?"

Damn it. I forgot the tears. As if it wasn't already enough that Dimitri could read me like an open book. So the only thing left to do was tell him the truth. A part of it, at least.

"I am fine now, I just worried a little that I woke up alone" I said seriously trying to persuade him. "And by the way, where were you?"

"I went to the Court to tell them that we arrived, my phone is out of battery." he said smiling and I was grateful that he decided not to give any further attention about the previous incident. "Are you ready to go back?" He asked as he stuck me dangerously against the car.

"It depends, how mad is Hans?" I asked and he laughed.

"He's pretty mad but don't worry, he can't do anything to you" he said stroking my hair. " You are going to be Lissa's guardian and no one can have a say otherwise."

"And why is that?"I asked curious , although I had a suspicion of what his answer would be.

"Your best friend is now the queen" he said and waited for my reaction which was very natural as I already knew it. The bond was always very useful for things like that.

"Why are you looking me like that, Comrade? I am not going to faint. I already knew that Liss was the queen now" I said smiling slightly.

"You knew it ha?" he whispered in my ear making me shiver "And you let me getting nervous on how I was going to tell it to you?" he asked feining anger.

"Yeah I did" I said smiling evily. "Are you going to do something about it?" I asked provocatively.

"Yeah, a lot of things" he said threatening and floored me to the ground.

After an hour or so, our little fight which later became something else had held us off a little, we arrived at the Court where in the gates Hans waited us.

"Oh, Ms Hathaway what a pleasure to see you again and see that you haven't lost your good manners" Hans said to me mockingly. "Guardian Belicov" he greeted Dimitri.

"Hans" I said smiling, no one could ruin me my good mood, because Dimitri was beside me. "I missed you too"

"Let that rubbish, Hathaway" Hans said tired "The queen wants to see you and we haven't much time to get the preparations ready for your ceremony about being the queen's guardian, so move on" he said anxiously and started to heading to the building where Lissa probably where.

"He didn't change at all" I said smiling to Dimitri." He is still nuts" I said running to catch Hans.

"Rose" Dimitri said critically but I could see his lips curving slightly.

"Here" Hans said after a while and point the door where was the queen's office. "I am on duty now, so the queen will inform you about everything you should know" he said and left, but not before he whispered something to Dimitri's ear.

"I am glad to see that you have gained back the respect and the position you deserve" I said seriously, " I knew that it was only a matter of time before they understand that you are still the same."

"All thanks to you" he said and opened the door.

But with what I saw, I wished he had knocked first; Christian and Lissa were making out. And it wasn't just kissing, it was a lot more things.

"Get off the top of her, you psycho." I yelled. "Don't you think at all about our poor eyes?" I said and heard Dimitri laugh.

"Rose" Lissa said and ran toward me and hugged me. "You missed me, don't leave again ok?"

"No, I won't, you missed me too Lis" I said and swept a tear from her eyes. "Although, from what I saw I believe that Christian was a good company too."

"Rose" she said blushing.

"You don't need to be embarrassed baby" Christian said hugging Lissa" She is just jealous."

"You wish" I said meanly.

"Ok, stop both of you now. You proved that you still hate each other, so calm down now" Lissa said supposed seriously but she was smiling slightly.

"She started it." Christian murmured but we ignored him.

"Hi Dimitri, come in" Lissa said. Dimitri was standing at the door" I am sorry for not seeing you earlier, but I was so happy to see Rose again."

"Don't apologize, it was logical" he said and closed the door.

"So, guys, Hans told me to tell you about your ceremony." Lissa said and took out a notebook.

"Our ceremony?" I asked.

"Yeah yours and Dimitri's" Lissa said worry.

"What?" I said and looked Dimitri for answers but that who answered was Christian.

"Don't worry Rose, Lissa is all yours, Dimitri will be just my guardian. There's no need to fight again" he said bored.

"We weren't going to fight I just wanted to know what was going on, because obviously no one is telling me" I said and looked Dimitri with meaning. But the real reason why I had got angry wasn't because he hadn't told me but because for a moment I worried that he would be Lissa's guardian too and we couldn't be together.

"So anyway" Lissa said. "Dimitri's ceremony won't be something big; just the four of us and Hans, but yours" she said and looked at me "will be very big as I am the queen. You don't need to worry about anything just wear your uniform and be on time. It takes place at eight o' clock in the ballroom and Dimitri's at six o'clock in Han's office, ok?"

"All right, that means that we have four hours until six, right?" I asked and Lissa nodded.

"Ok then we should leave both of you rest, Lissa. See you" I said and Dimitri and I left the room.

"Why didn't you tell me that you will be Christian's guardian?" I asked abruptly as soon as we got out of the room.

"I didn't think that it was important" he said seriously.

"Yes it is Dimitri" I screamed and he looked me with curiosity. "Don't you understand that that may affect our relationship?"

"What are you saying?" he asked angrily. "How the fact that I will be Christian's guardian can affect us?"

"It can't?"I asked through fresh tears. "I just thought that maybe they won't let us be together because we are going to be the most of the day together" I said gently.

"Oh Roza, don't worry, I asked Hans about it and he said that as long as we are good on our work, there's no problem and he was sure that we will be" he said and hugged me.

"Does Hans know it?" I asked surprised when I recovered from my small sock.

"Yes, he does" Dimitri said laughing with my reaction.

"So" I said thoughtfully. "Does that mean that we can kiss everywhere we want without being afraid of him seeing us?" I asked supposedly indifferent.

Instead of answering me, Dimitri chuckled and his eyes darken dangerously. And then without warning, he lifted me and put my legs around his hips while he kissed me passionately.

I didn't want that moment to ever end but someone had to interrupt us and that happened to be my best friend.

"Hem, hem" she cleared her throat. "Rose, I forgot to give your uniform" she said smiling and threw me my clothes while I was still in Dimitri's hug. "And don't worry for not telling me that you are together again, I understood as soon as I saw you"

"Sorry Lis" I said but I couldn't help smiling. Everything, finally, was ok.

"Don't be, in any other case, I would have been mad at you for not telling me but your parents are coming tonight and their anger would be enough for all of us" she said smiling evily and closed the door before I could react. After all these years she had at least learnt something from me. Although I wasn't sure if that was a good thing after all.

But now I have more serious problems to worry about; the physical integrity of Dimitri and maybe even mine's. Since Hans knew that we were together, that meant that everybody knew, including my parents; famous guardian Hathaway and Zmey. I wasn't sure which their reaction to that news would exactly be, but the certain was that it wouldn't be good. And thinking about how the react to my relationship with Adrian, I wished that we could run away again but I knew that that wasn't possible this time, this time I would support my actions, I wouldn't chicken out.

Then I looked Dimitri determinedly in his beautiful brown eyes and I said aloud the words that I knew he was thinking too.

_Oh my God._

**Thoughts…..**

**Thank you for reading 3**

**XOXO,**

**edwartforever**


	9. Chapter 9

**As I promised…..**

**Disclaimer; I do not own nothing**

**P.S. I found a new Beta. So a big thank you to ilovesos9467 who is awesome as well as her work.**

Chapter 9

"Congratulation, Rose" Sydney said smiling. "Although I am not sure if that is the right thing to say in an occasion like this"

"It's okay" I said, not really paying any attention to the conversation as I was trying to find out where Dimitri was. After the ceremony he had gone to the bathroom and he had told me that he would come right away to the ballroom, where the "after party" was taking place but it had past more than twenty minutes and he was nowhere to be found. Shit.

"Little Dampir, are you looking for something ?" Adrian said mockingly and since he always enjoyed getting in my nerves, he went to stand in front of me so I couldn't see anything. "Or should I better say for someone?"

"Aaah" I let a sound of annoyance that made Adrian's and even Sydney's smiles broad more. "You know Sydney" I said ignoring Adrian, "my nerves are not in a very good condition right now so if your boyfriend doesn't get out of my way in less than ten seconds, I am afraid that you will become single again, although I am not sure if this is a bad thing, after all" I said smiling meanly.

"Ah Little Dhampir, you haven't change at all. I love you too" Adrian said but without changing position and that worried me.

"Adrian I swear that if you don't move right now, I will-" I started saying but he, thankfully, interrupted, because if he didn't, I was going to say or better do something, that even I would certainly regret.

"Shh, don't worry Little Dhampir, your little cowboy is here" he said somewhat secretly and before I could realize the meaning of his words, a tall serious figure was beside me.

"Did he just tell you that he loves you _too_" Dimitri asked wearing his guardian mask but I could distinguish the anger in his voice. What was I supposed to tell him now? Damn it Adrian.

"Don't worry Dimitri" Sydney said." As usual, it was one of Adrian's jokes" she said and looked Adrian annoyed. Poor Adrian. "Rose didn't say anything like that to him. In reality, she said the exact opposite. So excuse us for now, I think it's better to leave you on your own. Come on Adrian" she said and they left but not before I had the chance to give her a thankful smile.

Thank god that Sydney had been there too, because I had a very bad feeling that if we were only the three of us, Adrian, Dimitri and me, this would have ended up very badly. There would certanly be a dead body. Or even two.

"So you," I said angrily. Now it was my turn . "Where have you been all this time?"

"All this time, you mean…" he checked his watch " precisely eleven minutes?" he said seriously. Was he still angry about the incident with Andrian?

"Oh I am sorry" I said gently feeling guilty. "I am just anxious about seeing my parents again" I said but he just nodded and looked away.

After a few minutes of peaceful silence, I couldn't take it anymore and I literally erupted.

"Ok what's going on?" I said at him sharply but always careful not to raise my voice. After all, catching attention was the last thing I wanted.

"Calm down Rose, what's gotten into you again?" he said worried. " Nothing is going on"

"Yeah nothing is going on" I said mockingly." First you disappear and when you finally decide to make an appearance, you are accusing me of telling Adrian that I love him." I said furious but I wasn't finished I had a lot more things to say. " Then you don't even talk to me and now you have the nerve to tell me to calm down. Well I am not calming down" I said stubbornly, and although I wasn't screaming I could tell that it was like I did, maybe even worse.

The only thing he did was smile with amusement. Did he really think that this was funny? That I was funny?

"What, what?" I asked him sharply when I suddenly heard him chuckling.

"Oh Roza" he said still smiling and wrapped his hand around my waist. Although I attempted to get away from him, he still didn't let me go. "I am so sorry, I didn't imagine that you could think that I was mad at you, I am just anxious about your parents arrival and that's why I am a little distant. Can you forgive me?" he whispered in my ear while playing with my curls. Really, he wasn't playing fair, how could I be mad at him when the only thing he made me to want was to kiss him?

"Ok" I whispered too, my thoughts and emotions blurred from being so close to him. And since I was unable to think, I stretched and kissed him.

Needless to say, he kissed me back. But as all the beautiful dreams, it had to come to an end.

" Hmm, Hmm" two voices coughed, interrupting us. To our great surprise and of course joy those voices were later proved to belong to my beloved parents. How lucky was I?

"Do you use to do that a lot?" Abe asked "Kiss my daughter in public?"

"Abe, don't talk to him like that. Besides I kissed him first" I said angrily " And by the way I am happy to see you too guys"

"Yeah Abe, your daughter is right." my mom said. " Besides guardian Belicov has done to our daughter worse things than that. Isn't that right, guardian Belicov?"

"Ok you two both slow down." I said determinedly. "You come here, you don't even greet us and now you start fighting. What do you want?"

"Rose we would be kinder" my mother started saying.

"If we didn't learn less than two days ago that you are having an affair with a guy seven years older than you" my father continued, always calm.

Calm, I said? My mistake, livid I meant.

"Who also happened to be your mentor" she continued.

"And you haven't told us anything so far" my father said and ended their speech. And really, what they did, continueing each other's sentences, was very creepy, like those old couples who were together for more than a hundred years together.

"So young lady, what we want is explanations and serious ones. Now." My mother said seriously. " And not only from you but from Guardian Belicov as well if he, of course if he doesn't mind"

I tried to speak and tell them that yeah he did, he did mind but my father's next words didn't let me.

"And no Rose that wasn't a real question, it was a rhetorical one. Both of you are coming now with us to the Lissa's office"he said rigidly." For the things we are going to talk about, we are going to need some privacy, don't you think, Belicov?"

And for the first time since my parents came, Dimitri talked and I really wish he hadn't.

"Yes sir, I couldn't agree more. There are a lot of things we should tell you" he said and I gave him a look that was like I was saying" Are you insane?" but he just smiled. Really where did he find the courage to smile when tonight, there was a huge possibility to be our last night?

**So I am listening, how was it? Did you like it? I want to hear your thoughts about what you think and want to happen in the next chapter.**

**P.S. Sorry if I was a little abrupt in the last chapter.**

**Xoxo,**

**Edwartforever.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer; I do not own anything. Richelle Maid is the lucky one.**

**Chapter 10**

"We would like to start with you first, Rose, if you don't have any problems with that?" My mother said mischievously and gestured for us to sit as soon as we entered Lissa's office. If it was humanly possible, I felt even worse than I did when I was caught in eighth grade painting all the Academy's walls black. What I can say? I was a teenage girl and I had been a little more absunt than the other girls with that color.

"Well, Mother" I said emphasising the words to get on her nerves. "I have no problem with that." In contrast I was relieved that they would asked me first instead of Dimitri. He was willing to tell them everything. For God's shake.

"When did your relationship start?" she asked looking me directly in my eyes. Unfortunately for her she didn't know that it wasn't very difficult for me to lie. Not that I was going to lie to her - that would be stupid - but let's just say that I wouldn't exactly tell the whole truth. I may hide a thing or two from her.

"Well, I don't really know. I guess a couple of days ago." I said, trying to be casual.

"Are you kidding me, Rose?" my mother replied in a frustrated tone, having probably lost her patience already. "He came to find you and you suddenly fell from him?"

Before I could answer her, Abe interrupted me. I had really forgotten about him.

"Janine" he said, smirking and that was bad, really bad. "You obviously have forgotten how it is to be young." My mother simply rolled her eyes at his response. "What Rose means is that they become officially a couple two days ago." He paused. "But Rose, what your mother really meant is when did you two starting having feelings for each other?"

Well we were officially screwed. What do we tell them now?

"We-" I started saying ambigiously but he interrupted me again, only to leave me with my mouth hung open.

"When did you kiss for first time or have sex? " he asked so simply that he didn't only catch me by suprise, but Dimitri and my mother, who almost fell from the chair she was sitting in, as well.

I went to answer, but then I thought, why bother? Who were these guys after all? Yeah, of course they were my parents, my biological parents, but never in my life have they really acted like ones. They certainly cared about me but they didn't control my life. They couldn't control my life. After all I am an adult.

"Well, dear father and mother" I said standing up from my chair. "Our love story is certainly very interesting, but I am not in the mood to share it. So if you don't mind, my boyfriend and I are leaving." I said looking at Dimitri, who although suprised, did as I said.

"No, Rose, you are not leaving." My mom said rigidly while Abe was looking at me amused. Did he know? "Don't you know that been together is practically illegal?" she practically screamed at Dimitri and me. "For god's sake, you are eight years younger than him."

"First of all, it's seven years, and secondly, I am an adult. Nothing about our relationship is illegal." I said angrily. Suddenly I was feeling very annoyed with my mom. With both of them. "I want and will be with him."

"Young lady!" she scolded, grabbing my arm harshly. "You are going to hear me very carefully. You aren't going to do whatever you want. You can't-" she tried to say, but Dimitri, who during our converstation had stayed quiet, finally spoke.

"Guardian Hathaway, I know that you are worried about your daughter, but you are wrong, I can make her happy." he said seriously, wearing his guardian mask.

"Don't interfere, Guardian Belikov. It's not your business what I am saying with my daughter." She said annoyed. "And believe me, you may be good for her, but she isn't any good for you." she practically spat. Wow, that hurt really bad.

"Janine" Abe said rigidly while Dimitri seemed not to know what to say. Well it was his fault, he never believed me when I told him that my mother was literally a bitch.

Ignoring my father, I answered to my mother's heartless words while getting away from her tight embrace.

"Guess what, mom, it's not your business anymore. You don't have the right to interfere in my life with Dimitri. Yeah, maybe I am not good for him. Hell, I know I'm not good for him but it's his decision to make." I screamed at her, not caring about what Dimitri and Abe thought.

"Rose," my mother sighed with defeat, and looked me with sadness. "You are going to get hurt. Not on purpose, but your characters will clash. And you are both guardians, very good and devoted to your jobs, and I am afraid that the separation is unpreventable."

With those words from her, I suddenly understand her. She was worried about me. She didn't want to end up like her; alone and in pain, but she didn't understand that I couldn't care otherwise.

"Mom, I don't care, I love him and he can do whatever he wants with me. My heart is his; it was always him." I said gently. "And if you want us to be on good terms, you have to accept that." I said and turned to leave since I didn't believe that she would answer, not positively anyway. But she suprised me once more.

"Ok" she said quietly and I looked her astonished. "Why are you looking me like that? I just don't want to lose you again." she said and I was really starting to get worried about her. Who was this woman and what she had done to my mom? "Now get back to your post, you have loafed around enough." Nope, she was definitely my mom.

"Ok, bye" I said and hugged her briefly, as well as Abe and to my big suprised they hugged Dimitri too.

"Stay in touch kid. I don't want to lose you again ok?" Abe said seriously and I nod. It wasn't time for arguements now. "And you Belikov, don't forget what I told you."

"What?" I wishpered to Dimitri, but he gesture me to continue walking. I did, at least until we were at a safe distant from them.

"What did he tell you Comrade?" I asked him curiously. "But most importantly, why did you agree?"

"Well, Rose" he said while he continued walking or better yet, running and I tried unsucessfully to catch up with him.

"While you and your mother were talking, I also had a very interesting discussion with your father."

"What?" I said taken aback. That explains why they rarely interrupted us and most importantly why Dimitri didn't look me directly at my eyes now. "What did you said to him?" I asked angrily.

"I told him everything about us." he said and finally stopped walking.

"You didn't." I said, not believing what I had just heard, but he nodded assuring again my worst fears.

"You are an idiot, you know that?" I said, but I was smiling slightly. He was alive and in the same time a burden had left from me.

"Oh yeah, I know" he replied and got very dangerously close to me. "But you are a bigger idiot." he said. I looked him curiously, waiting an explanation. "For believing that you are not good for me. Roza, you are too good for me." he said and leaned to kissed me. I stopped him since I had one more question, and I knew very well that when we started kissing, we don't like to stop.

"With what did you agree with my father?" I asked seriously.

"Nothing" he said, playing with my curls.

"He just wanted to go hunting with me." He attempted to kiss me again, but I stopped him once again and he chuckled.

"What is it this time Rose?" he asked playfully.

"You know that he is going to have a gun with him, don't you?" I asked him with worry and he laughed.

"Yeah, I know Roza" he said and again with my words I prevented him from kissing me. It would be a lie if I said that I didn't enjoyed it, just a little bit.

"And aren't you afraid?" I whispered at his ear, making him shiver. Oh, it was so fun to torture him.

"No Roza, I would do anything for you. I would give anything for you. Even my life." he whispered at my ear and this time it was my turn to shiver.

Needless to say that then I let him kiss me. Or to say the truth, I kissed him first. And God, that wasn't just what I wanted. What I wanted was more. Much more.

**So thank you for your feedback in the last chapter. You are all great.**

**Thanks again to my awesome beta ilovesos9467.**

**I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter. Review 3**

**Xoxo**

**Edwartforever**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the long waiting again but what to say holidays didn't let me time to write or think of writing.**

**I hope you had a nice summer because now unfortunately schools have started and that means that tons of homework, as well as insane teachers, are waiting us.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own anything. Unfortunately.**

Chapter 11

This was humiliating. This was really, really humiliating. And if you are wondering, I was referring to the fact that Dimitri had placed me over his shoulder and he was carrying me around like I was a sack of potatoes. And why all of this? Because I had refused to go with him to Baia. Was that insane?

Ok, maybe at the beginning, I was complaining about the exact opposite reason, but that was because I thought that he didn't want me with him. And then, when the misunderstanding was solved and I thought about it again I didn't find any reason, at least a good one, to go with him at a place where all his familly would be there.

I couldn't say that the last time I visited them that they weren't good with me- the opposite I would dare say- with some exceptions of course. If you get what I mean? but now the circumstances were different. Now they may think that I am not good enough for their son, brother or whatever. Because now they weren't grieving or anything but I was still an immature eighteen year old girl with a very bad reputation.

"Let me down" I screamed for the thousandth time this morning and tried to get out from his hold again for what it seemed like the thousandth time today. Really, today wasn't my day at all.

"No" he said amused "You are going to make us even later than we are already are."

"Well, that is not my fault Comrade" I said now a little more relaxed having accepted that there was not any way to get out of this situation since we had already arrived at the plane where some guardians were giving us strange looks.

"Is something wrong?" I asked one who was near me, without having changed where I was, in Dimitri's shoulder and the boy blushed, nodded negatively. He must be new and he still felt awkard otherwise he would have answered back.

"Leave the poor boy alone" Dimitri whispered in my ear and finally let me down placing me at the seat beside him. "Besides, as I recall, you wanted a second time too" Dimitri said and I felt myself blushed. What was wrong with me?

Very soon the plane took off and I decided to take a little nap as I hadn't managed to sleep very much last night.

Suddenly, in my sleep, appeared a dark figure which I couldn't see what was no matter close as I came to it. Then suddenly I was in the middle of a white room and in the corner was Lissa. I heard her calling my name but she wasn't looking at me, she was beside a bed - I think - and I headed towards her but what I saw was not at all any close at what I was expecting to see. Lissa was beside a casket and I was laying in there. Dead.

Suddenly Lissa seemed to spot me, the real me, and turned her head to speak me but her voice and the words she said came out unaturally. "You are running out of time. They want you back"

And before I could ask her who wanted me back, I was transferred in another place. It was a dark, wet place, like a cave and in the middle was a river. At first, fortunately, I was alone but then I saw a boat coming from the opposite side of the river. In the boat was the dark figure again and when it was finally close enough to see it clearly, the figure became a man wearing a black cloak. The man lowered his hood only to reveal Adrian.

In the beginning he didn't seem to notice me but when I tried to talk him, he looked at me but it was like he didn't, like he was at ectasy and repeated the same words Lissa had said "You are running out of time. They want you back" and then he diasappeared leaving me again without answers.

This time though, I wasn't transferred in another place but instead at the shore of the cave appeared a body, a woman body but it wan't me this time. It was Anna.

I approached her to see if she was alive and suddenly she grabbed my hand and said frantically "You are out of time. They are here. They will get you"

And then I assumed that the place I was would changed again but nothing happened and finally I asked her the questions that terrorized me. "Who, who?"

"Them" she simply said, turning her head to the opposite direction and then she passed out. When I turned my head to where she was looking just a minute ago I saw Lissa's parents, Mason and other people, among them the dark figure, coming to me with a desperate look on their faces gesturing me to go with them. And I almost did, feeling like I have to be with them but the last moment something was holding me back.

And when I turned around to see what that was I saw Ms Carp.

"You have still time."she said and smiled evilly. "If you become like me"

But then I heard in the air a loud noise and someone screaming that I have another choice. And suprisingly, I had the sensation that I knew this voice. But I couldn't remembered to whom it belonged.

And just like that, the dream or what the hell that was ended.

"Rose wake up" he said. "It was just a dream. Everything is fine now" I sat up and looked at Dimitri who was offering me a glass of water. After I drank it he asked me what I was dreaming and told me that I was shaking during my sleep but I couldn't answered him because neither I knew what was that dream, if you want to call it like this.

"Nothing, just a nightmare" I said to him trying to sound as believable as I could. "I saw wolves hunting Lissa." At first I didn't think that he would believe me but his answer told me otherwise.

"Don't worry Lissa is fine. I just spoke to her to tell her that we landed" he said gently.

"I know" I said and stoop up, kissing him gently. "Besides she is capable enough to face alone a bange of wolves, for me is that you should worry Comrade."

"And why is that" he said smiling too.

"Because I have to face Yeva" I said supposed terrified.

"Well, Rose" he said amused "I can't understand you, you aren't afraid to face wolves or even Strigoi but you are terrified of my old grandma"

"Exactly" I said smiling while getting off of the plane. But in reality I wasn't at all happy because I was sure that what I saw in my sleep wasn't just a dream , it was something more and most importantly it was sure not okay as Dimitri had said. But he was also right, now I have most important things to worry about.

Yeva.

**I hope you liked it. **

**Please review and let me know what you think about this. **

**Any questions is more than happy acceptable.**

**Xoxo,**

**edwartforever**


	12. Chapter 12

Author's note; I know it has past a month since the last update and really there's not a really good excuse for my behavior towards you and my story. I have probably disappointed you but I promise that from now on I will try to update more frequently so that I finish the story. I hope that you will give me and my story another shot.

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer; I do not own anything.**

Chapter 12

_Looking back, I cannot really remember how we ended up like this. How my feelings for him changed so greatly in such small period of time; from cautiousness to likeness, from likeness to love, from love to sadness, from sadness to love again, from love to sadness, from sadness to hatred._

_To pure hatred._

When we landed, a car was already waiting for us, and that was absolutely great since I was too tired and bored to wait for one. But the unfortunate thing was, that along with it was Dimitri's family.

Everything happened in a blur.

Suddenly, from being in Dimitri's hands I ended up standing on my own a few meters away from where all the drama was occurring; hugs, kisses, hugs again and maybe even a few tears. His mother and sisters were really happy to see him. His grandma too.

But come on I should not be grumpy. I think Paul waved me.

And suddenly, when I was started to think that they all gonna leave and leave me here in the cold, helpless, finally Olena acknowledged me and then everybody, except of course Yeva, started to hug me too.

I think that I preferred better the former situation, after all.

But that things, of course I don't say them aloud, I just smile politely and answer all their questions with excitement. Despite the irony and the grumping, I am really jealous of Dimitri. His family makes me wish I had one too.

The time in the car passed quickly, although not as painless as I would have wanted to. Yeva didn't stop looking at me, neither for a moment and Victoria kept answering all my questions with one word.

"How things are going?" I asked her.

"Fine" she answered back.

"How is school?" I questioned her.

"Ok" she said.

"What are your friends doing? I asked her lamely, not even remembering their names.

"They are good" she murmured.

Ha! I made her say three whole words.

From her behavior, she was probably still mad about Rolan. Probably.

Dimitri raised his eyebrow at this humiliating dialog. Or better monolog.

"I will tell you later" I mouthed at him in fear of Victoria hearing us. Things were already bad enough between us, there was need to worsen them.

Yeva, in the meantime was still looking at me.

How bad I wish I could raise my eyebrow at her too. Life isn't fair at all. Not even close to fair.

When we reached the house it was time for lunch, so I offered Olena to help her prepare it.

"Really, there's no need. If I need any help the girls can help me." She kindly refused my help but I really wanted to cook with her. Last time I had a great time. "You should go rest. Both of you" she said eyeing meaningfully Dimitri who was carrying the suitcases despite his sisters' effort to take them from him.

"But I really want to help you" I said and Dimitri looked me with curiosity. It was not a secret that the only relationship I had with food was eating it, not making it.

"Ok then" she said amused by Dimitris' and mine soundless conversation.

Until the food was ready, the rest decided to take a look at old pictures of Dimitris' and his sisters' childhood after I completely arbitrarily said to Oleva that I have never seen a picture of Dimitri as a kid and how much I wanted to.

"But I have plenty of pictures of my kids being young at the house. Please, Victoria bring the family albums for Rose to see Dimitri little" Olena said to me kindly while she was simultaneously turning on the oven.

_Thankgod I didn't after all destroyed the kitchen! _I thought to myself and I was sure that Dimitri thought the same.

"Let me see" I said and sat between Dimitri and Victoria on the centre of the couch while trying to grab Dimitri's blue album from his hands.

"Let it go" I mouthed to him and he eventually did but after ten minutes had passed fighting with our arms while everyone watched us amused.

"Well, let see how appallingly ugly you were" I said to him. "Because I don't think why otherwise you wouldn't want me to see how you were as a little boy" I said amused with his silence but I didn't really believe that Dimitri was not a pretty boy. He is just very secretive. He always was.

"Whatever you say my Rosa" he said with a secret smile and game me kiss in the cheek.

It was a thick album with lots of photographs of Dimitri's and his sister childhood. Baby photos, school photos, photographs from family events and things like that. Nothing too weird or extreme and of course I was right Dimitri was a beautiful kid who as the years passed grew to be a very handsome and brave man.

Although most of the photos were innocent enough, one photo intrigued me. It was at the last pages of the album as Dimitri was almost an adult and he was posing hand in hand with a girl dressed in a beautiful dress while he was wearing a taxedo.

Dimitri had never mentioned going to the prom.

"Don't tell me that that's your cousin?" I asked as humourfully as I could while in the inside I was burning from jealousy. Dimitri had never spoken about any other woman in his life except from Tasha. But of course he must had a girlfriend on high school. He was a very attractive boy. But I never suspected that their relationship would have been so serious that he would have take her to the prom.

"No. This is Miria" he said gently and that was all. Nothing else.

I looked him provocative and again nothing as if he hadn't understood that I wanted a more detailed answer. And then as if Olena had sensed the tension between us she said;

"Oh, Rose Miria was a short relationship Dimitri had on school. She used to be his best friend and they went to the school dance together. Nothing special, just a teenage love" she said casually. I couldn't deny it, Olena was very smart and diplomatic, she knew how to control a difficult situation but still her words didn't bring me any comfort, at least not when Dimitri avoided looking me straight to the eye.

"But" Victoria then said with a mischievous grin and everyone looked at her with what seemed an expression full of terror. "mum are you sure? because as I can remember Miria and Dimitri's relationship was very serious. Didn't they plan to get marry but Miria was assigned to be a guardian of a royalty who lived in Egypt and they had to break up? I remember Dimitri was devastated. Miria, you know, was his first love." She said with a sad tone but then she smiled happily and turned to me.

"But of course Rose you don't have to worry about that. Now Dimitri is with you and he love you very much." Although Victoria was trying to seem sympathetic and kind towards me, it was obvious that the only reason she had said all these things to me was to hurt me and my relationship with her brother because she still deeply hated me from what had happened the last time I was in Baia.

But I knew better to make a scene in front of her. I didn't doubt that what she had told me was true because none seem to try to refute her words –the only they did was to glance one other, while Dimitri tried to read my expression waiting for my eruption- but I wouldn't give in her little tricks, I woudn't satisfy her. Dimitri and I had plenty time to fight later in our room.

"Rosa is everything alright?" Dimitri finally said obviously worried with my calm reaction to the news but he didn't know what awaited him.

"Yes, of course baby. Why should I be worried, it's not like I thought that I was the only woman in your life, right?" I said supposedly relax but Dimitri saw past through me, he realized the hint;_ I knew that I wasn't the only woman in his life but I didn't knew that I wasn't his only true love. He had told me that I was the only one. He had lied._

"Of course you didn't" he said smiling and the rest on the room relaxed too. But I could see the sadness in his eyes. But for what was he sad? For me, for us or for her, for them?

"Ok then, let's go to eat" Olena said with enthousiasm and grabbed her littlest daughter from her arm, probably to tell her to learn to keep her mouth shut. _Poor Victoria._

But the truth was that I wasn't fine. I was the opposite of it. I tried to persuade myself that everything was fine, that Dimitri loved me, that his previous relationships meant nothing and I would have managed it if I didn't have Yeva sitting next to me and Dimitri sitting across me.

Because although the only thing she did was whispering to me that the worsts have not yet come she didn't really do just that because she was not whispering it to my ear but inside my head. Something that seemed very familiar to me.

And Dimitri didn't do anything wrong too. Really. He was very energetic at the table; he talked, he made jokes, he smiled like nothing was wrong, like nothing was ever wrong. But he didn't, not once, smile at me or look at me, or talk to me. And that for me was all wrong.

**I hope you did enjoy it and as always I am to hear your opinions and questions about the story! **

**I hope you had and you are still having a nice time in your holidays because unfortunately autumn and schools' beginning is not very far anymore.**

**And thank you for giving me and my story another try! You are the best!**

**Xoxo,**

**edwartforever**


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